leap

I think after 3 years I'm finally starting to get it. Things are beginning to look a little more clear, but I'm still scared to death. It's frightening having to depend on other people, especially once you've been hurt a few times. Maybe by the same person, or situation, or even multiple people in a row. Once you've been hurt or let down and you've felt helpless it's hard to go back, to trust, to just let the pieces fall.

But in the end that's what we all have to do. Sure we can be safe, hold back, be cautious, but when did that ever get you anywhere? When did that ever get you right where you wanted to be? Sometimes it takes that leap, where you don't know where you'll end up after you jump or how hard you'll come tumbling down. If we never do it though, how will we know if anyone is there to catch us. How will we know if it was all worth it, or if it's just time to move on to the next thing that makes something stir inside.

Sometimes if you're really lucky that thing comes to you neatly wrapped, but typically that's only the stuff found in movies. In real life that is boring. We want the challenge no matter how many times we beg for something to fall into our laps, at the end of the day we want something to show for our hard work and time.

Ever have a day where all you can do is think about stuff that isn't important (aka school). Then you decide to spend hours on the internet doing really nothing, when you come across a new song you've never heard and for some reason it just hits on whatever you were feeling all day. Boom. This is the song for me today. Also kinda weird that while I was listening to it something unexpected happened to point out even more how it was the right song for today.

SORT OF

Written by Ingrid Michaelson

Baby, you've got the sort of hands to rip me apart
And baby, you've got the sort of face to start this old heart
But your eyes are warning me this early morning
That my love's too big for you my love


Baby, you've got the sort of laugh that waters me
And makes me grow tall and strong and proud and flattens me
I find you stunning, but you are running me down
My love's too big for you my love
My love's too big for you my love

And if I was stronger then I would tell you no
And if I was stronger then I will leave this show
And if I was stronger then I would up and go
But here I am and here we go again

Baby, you've got the sort of eyes that tell me tales
That your sort of mouth just will not say, the truth impales
That you don't need me, but you won't leave me
My loves too big for you my love
My loves too big for you my love

And if I was stronger then I would tell you no
And if I was stronger then I will leave this show
And if I was stronger then I would up and go
But here I am and here we go again

Tell me what to do, to take away the you

And if I was stronger then I would tell you no.
And if I was stronger then I will leave this show
And if I was stronger then I would up and go
But here I am and here we go again

GLEE!

Glee starts again on Tuesday, and I personally couldn't be more excited, especially since there is going to be an episode that is completely dedicated to Madonna songs. Why wasn't I around in the 80's?

lemon cookies, sugar cookies, sangria

Since my roommate Lauryn and I decided to take it easy this weekend and pass on going out we stayed home and used our kitchen even more than usual.

Saturday:

Turkey Burgers

+ dijon mustard and oregano

+ with provolone and avocado

Garlic Mac&Cheese

Lemon Drop cookies

melt in your mouth lemon sugar cookies.

Sunday:

Sugar cookies

+ macadamian and white chocolate chips

+ hot pink sanding sugar

= lady gaga cookies. yeah lauryn and i think she's weird.

Sangria

1 lemon

1 lime

1 orange

1 cup of apple juice

1/2 cup of sugar

16 oz of pineapple

2 cups 7up

1 bottle red wine

it's the little things

today was a pretty normal day. i slept in, watched some tv, ate some food, watched Paper Heart on netflix while doing laundry, went to dinner with maycee and lauryn for maycee's birthday and then watched the matrix with my neighbors.

nothing too earth-shattering, but i still had a really good day. it's the little things, like a text message, someone asking how your day was, catching up with a friend, clean sweatpants, olive garden breadsticks, being able to get your anxiety out to your best friend, warm weather that reminds you summer is a few weeks away, neighbors that come barging in looking for their george foreman grill, or hearing about someone else's day.

yeah it's a friday night, and i could be going out like every other person in tallahasee; but sometimes having absolutely nothing to do besides watch a movie or read a book, and being able to sleep in the next day is the best way to spend a friday night.